Stache Science!

Since beginning this whole Mustache thing, I have noticed that I am now hyper-aware of mustaches on the men I see.   It doesn't matter what the situation is, whether it's watching a movie or getting mugged, the first this I notice is the presence of any mustaches and the quality thereof.   My wife and I were watching a cheesy movie the other night in which there was a tremendous action sequence.  Deep in the background of the firefight, one of the expendable bad guys happened to have a mustache.  Unbidden, the words "Hey, nice mustache!" sprang from me.  This was not something that I would have even noticed in my clean-shaven days.  I spent many hours trying to decipher the clues before me.  Finally, after careful research and some beers, I came up with what I call the Mustachial Theory of Perceptual Acuity:   Having a mustache heightens your senses to an incredible degree.

I'm not sure how this change to the nervous system is effected, so if there are any neurological research scientists out there who would like to chime in a explain this, send a note to me.  I'd like to look into getting some sort of interim grant in order to further my studies of this amazing phenomenon, until the MacArthur money comes in.

Retro Fashion

The rebirth and super-marketing of the Swing Era has given me cause to think about the styles of that time.  Why, it was quite a heyday for the stache.   You just weren't a man if you didn't have something on your upper lip.   The man without a mustache was known as "Kid" or "Babyface".   There was maturity, virility and credibility stored in those whiskers.

So as I look at the large number of kids adopting the styles of the 30s and 40s, I am hoping that the mustaches of those times will soon follow.  What good is a zoot suit without the pencil thin 'duster to complete the look?  How can you be a slicked-back Swing Hipster with a face like an infant?  If the retro movement we're in now continues, I have a feeling that the corresponding facial hair will be coming, too.  And how!

Before They Were Mustache Stars, The Return

As a result of last week's disclosure of Your Host as a Mustachioed Child Chemist, I got a letter from an expert in the field: Dear Mr. Cookie Duster, Little did you know that you were actually born with a mustache! After using many depilatories, we were able to rid you of the blemish before outsiders began to snicker. We are happy that you are able to generate one on your own, now that it's an acceptable look for your larger face.  (Picture to follow... the only one in existence.) (signed) Mother of the Cookie Dustered One Ladies and Gentlemen, without further ado, my mother presents to you the incredible Mustached Baby:

Your Tiny Host

The best part about this picture is the incontrovertible proof that I get my sense of humor from my parents.

Put Up or Shut Up

I hear you:  "OK, smart guy - last week you said something about taking a current picture of yourself with your so-called excellent mustache.  What up?  Can you walk the walk?"  A kind reader writes in simply,

Subject:  New Picture

When will we see it?

Well, gentle readers, the time has come.  I finally got my lazy butt up and had my wife take a contemporary photo.  I am pleased to reveal to you the new look of The Cookie Duster!

This Way to the Egress

Thanks for stopping by the sideshow this week.  Next week - who knows?  Not me.   For my American readers, I hope you've enjoyed the Labor Day weekend, and spent it relaxing and tending your Crop of Whiskers.

Drop me a line with your questions, comments, or 'stache reports - XianRex@mustachesummer.com - and I'll make you a star.   I'm off to the gymnasium for my pugilism lesson, so until next week, Make Mine Mustache!

Don't miss out on previous Dusters:

Preseason
June 21
June 28
July 5
July 12
July 19
July 26
August 2
August 16
August 23
August 30

Don't miss out on previous Dusters:

Preseason
June 21
June 28
July 5
July 12
July 19
July 26
August 2
August 16
August 23
August 30