State of the Mustache Address

Greetings, Mustache Fans!  I hope you all are, as I am, flushed with pride and mindless fellowship over the recent article in Time Out New York magazine.  It is indeed a great stride forward in sharing the Good 'Stache News with the rest of the world.  Congratulations to Mustache Wearers everywhere for their efforts!  I would also like to share with you my feelings about a more personal subject - My Mustache.  After almost three months of growth and tending, my Cookie Duster has progressed into a delightful Mr Pringle-type configuration.   I can't really call it a handlebar, since it doesn't dip down below my mouth before rising again, but the ends curl smartly, making me look quite the Gay 90s gentleman.   I have not gotten the wax out, but that's coming.  I am hoping to have a picture soon, if only to have an updated Head for the top of the column.

The Alternative Mustache

It's fun to have a non-standard 'stache in this day of the omnipresent goat.  Like our German friend Konrad said, "the best part of having a mustache is the big big fun with it and the reactions of the people on the streets."   It's fun to get a second look from people.  Who knows, perhaps my Duster will inspire the passing goat-boy to break out of his rut and have some fun.  A lot of guys hear the word 'mustache' and immediately envision a cop 'stache or Tom Selleck.    "Normal, boring.  Not alternative like a goatee" (they think).  Well, now that the goat has been revealed as unimaginative, these guys should know that there is more to the mustache than just the Incubus guy. That's why I am proud to sport a 'fun' mustache.  I get to help people realize the tremendous variety possible with a mustache.  If you have a mustache, you can be serious or goofy, a cop or a criminal.  I'm one of the United Colors of Mustache.

World Mustache Leader Pretend

Something Konrad said in the August 9 Cookie Duster caught my eye.  He mentioned that in Germany, Kaiser Wilhelm was a Historical Mustache Personage who was revered by many.  While reading a book set during World War I, I noticed references to people sporting "Kaiser Wilhelm" mustaches.  I decided to investigate, and found that this former German leader did in fact have a distinctive Mustachial Style.
This style is almost a handlebar, but does not dip down before springing up.  I would say this was like mine, but look at his ends - they're totally haphazard.  The only time they came to a point is when the sculptor decided to clean them up for him.  I suppose he had things on his mind, what with taking on the world and all, but you'd think the head of a major military power like Germany would have been able to hire a personal groomer or something.

Before They Were Mustache Stars

While digging through a box of old photos and memorabilia, I unearthed an antique photo of Your Author.  There was a Career Day at school, wherein you dress up as the profession you want to have when (if) you grow up.  I was a chemist, which, according to me, was a person who played with chemicals all day.  A person... with a mustache.

The best part about this picture is the remarkable resemblance the mustache has to my present Cookie Duster.  A frightening display of Mustachial Clarivoyance.

Cut!  Print!

All right - that's all for now.  Quick note - the term "sub-nasal carpeting" has been seen in two articles recently, and although one is almost certainly a result of reading the other, it may constutute a movement.  Seen any other new terminology?   Let me know.   Drop me a line with your questions, comments, or 'stache reports - XianRex@mustachesummer.com - and I'll make you a star.   I've got to go and twist my ends, so until next week, Make Mine Mustache!

- Christian

Don't miss out on previous Dusters:

Preseason
June 21
June 28
July 5
July 12
July 19
July 26
August 2
August 9
August 16

Don't miss out on previous Dusters:

Preseason
June 21
June 28
July 5
July 12
July 19
July 26
August 2
August 9
August 16